Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
