Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
