I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
