why didn't you poke me back
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize