there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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