I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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