So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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