i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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