is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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