I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
