Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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