Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
What a dumb baby whore.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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