i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
