Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
