And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
