how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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