3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize