just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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