yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
