he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize