I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
