Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
