I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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