You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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