it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
