Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize