I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
