I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
