Your face is a jimmy john
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
