what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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