dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
