That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
