Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
