my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
