I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize