I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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