just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize