I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The feeling are messing with the penis
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
