Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
