thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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