i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
