Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
