Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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