She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
