You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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