He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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