Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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