Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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