You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
