his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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