Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize