Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
