i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
