You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize