Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
