Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
