oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
