I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
