Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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