I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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