Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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