Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
