I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize