Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
