I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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