It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
