if you like me you must not know who I am
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize